you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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