I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
