I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
