on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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