We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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