I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
