id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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