On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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