I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
