Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I touched a dick in church today
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
