he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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