please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
