i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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