that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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