dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She bit a glass in half.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
