So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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