Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
