what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
