it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
