i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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