Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
