covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
