I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
