I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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