Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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