Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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