btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
