Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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