oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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