The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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