I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
