um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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