why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
worst night to have a conscience
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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