when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
