so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
PANTIES FOUND
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
