sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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