Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
