If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Bring me that man meat
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
