yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
