yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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