Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
