six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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