will power is for people who don't want to get laid
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
