already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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