Welp...herpes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
