Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
