but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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