I'm lost and stupid without you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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