I heard we made out
I don't think brook has ever known best
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
