if you like me you must not know who I am
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
