Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
