Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
