totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's just like the Real World with babies
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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