Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
