And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize