how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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