Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think your dad took our porno
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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