fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
