So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
