dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
