sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
