tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize