I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
